bahhhhh i'm gonna let this out!
it's not that easy to suppress sadness for one whole freakin week!
after brushing away stupid misery for one whole week, i'm gonna let it out now. well, not everything, but the main thing that makes me freakingly annoyed for this one whole miserable day.

do you know how it feels like to be lousy? lousiness that can be avoided.
okay, i have my driving license right? i have a family car right?
but one annoying thing is, i'm always not allowed to drive because apparently i am not ready.
how ready do you want me to be? how can i ever be ready if you never even let me drive beyond the neighbourhood? i'm sorry, but YOU ARE SO UNREASONABLE. THIS IS SO UNFAIR. i might as well don't take my driving license yet and wait till i can afford to buy my own car cos you don't let me drive! it's unfair because ALL my friends with license can drive, like properly drive. while i am still suffering miserably in silence. i am still under-exposed. i become less confident because of you! why can't you be more encouraging like other people?????? i don't even know if i will ever succeed in anything cos you're always so not supportive about almost everything that i do. as much as you are my dad, i loathe your behaviour sometimes. gah.

eff this. i'm so emotionally wrecked today. my eyes are so tired of crying. i blame you for my moodless day today. UGH. @!#$%#^$*%#@%$@~@$@#$%#%!~&*(&(%^^##%%^*#$&!#

Blogged @ 8:04:00 PM




my sister is so sweet. she said it makes her want to cry whenever she sees me sad. i pray that she'll get fantastic results for her O levels, Amin.

okay, late for school!

Blogged @ 8:13:00 AM




Do you know that your text msg and your facebook status made me tear today?
I don't know why, perhaps it's because.. i keep thinking about how time is passing by.
but don't worry, i am as strong as can be! (i hope)

Blogged @ 9:56:00 PM




Today marks the day of a very important lesson.

Blogged @ 6:07:00 PM




depressed to the maximum. :'(

Blogged @ 12:13:00 AM




Aku ingin engkau selalu
Hadir dan temani aku
Di setiap langkah
yang meyakiniku
Kau tercipta untukku

Blogged @ 9:57:00 PM




why am i dreading school?
why don't i have the drive anymore?
hmm, i think it's because of the mad deadlines.
they're coming real fast!
and that means reading week's coming soon too, which would then mean syg's going to brunei :'( aaand EXAMS are coming.
on a lighter note, all these would also means HOLIDAYS are coming.
then again, there are things happening during the holidays too i think.. like, syg going to taiwan :'( :'( aand... hmm, maybe some mss matters?

okay but all those can wait. hmmm.. what about now?
i need to finish up my south asian essay due on friday, which happens to be the south asian test as well, WHICH happens to be THE day i start school at 8! -wails- i can already feel the tiredness now, just THINKING about leaving the house at 6.30am, and reaching home at probably 10pm the night before considering that there would be mss meeting the previous day at 6. :'(
just WHAT have i gotten myself into? this week will be the most rush-est week ever. i don't liiikkkeeeeeee!!!

anyway, yesterday, i spent the whole day with syg, and half the day with ruzaini when he joined us later that day.

went to esplanade to just chill, because somebody was in need of rest to recover from the "avian flu" symptoms. hahaha. ok nvm. i did a fair bit of reading my notes for the upcoming week's test! SIGH.




then we went to orchard cineleisure to catch 500 days of summer with ruzaini.
had our late lunch at anatolia!





oh damn, 10.49am. i need to finish up my essay by hmm.. 12pm! latest!

toodles!

Blogged @ 10:40:00 AM




suddenly im overwhelmed with emotions.
i thought i can try to at least be strong, but deep inside, i'm weak. very weak.
i'm so disappointed in myself.
what happened to the sense of independence deep inside?
is it still there?
sigh. :'(

Blogged @ 10:22:00 PM




helloo.
hello!
what you doing?
walking to my room.
oh, anyway, just wanna say good night, that's all.
okay, good night!
and i just wanna say that i'm so happy to see you today because i didn't expect that at all.
hehe yeah tu ah, "see you at causeway". i didn't expect it too..
oklah, dah lights out. good night!
good night!
love you syg.
bye.
love you.
OH love you too :)

oh man i can be so blur sometimes. :/
anyways, i was happy to see him too because this was what happened:

hey i'm going to causeway kejap. see you there!
huhhh im not going to causeway!
oh yes you are!
no im nottt... okla okla!
hey im not forcing u to go, it's up to you!
nah i need to check out the library anyways
what time can u reach?
half and hour's time! can you wait for me? ;)




Blogged @ 9:31:00 AM




who blogsearch-ed madhiah and helmi on google?

anyhows, i am not in the very best of mood.
i'm sorry if my planning sucks and seem very fickle okay.
it's not easy. not easy at all.
but thanks so much if you've cooperated.

maaf zahir dan batin.

Blogged @ 7:03:00 PM




Monday 28/09/09 - day out with syg :) macd's for breakfast, orchard central, starbucks, massage, hei sushi for dinner! we camwhored like crazy. so many photos la, but i'll just upload a few.


Tuesday 29/09/09 - coffee bean with syg, did some assignments with his help -.-, shikeen joined later, dinner with the malayz, smth bad happened :( but all's good now. sorry guys!


Wednesday 30/09/09 - breakfast at macd's with shikeen and nurul. shikeen, DON'T GIVE UP! ;D

Thursday 01/10/09 - loooong day in school. mss meeting. :)

Friday 02/10/09 - JALAN RAYA WITH JC FRIENDS! but many couldn't make it. we had crazy fun, still! :) i hope helmi's 2nd girlfriend gets well soon, so we can all grab 'em photos from his brother's dslr!


we ate SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!

first house was helmi's - satay, lontong, sambal prawns, ayam masak merah...
second house was mala's - jalilah's pizzas and satays!
third house was mine - murtabak
fourth house was farah's - loooong glasses (hehehe)
last house was ruzaini's - TULANG!! power beb!


result: gemuk day.

Saturday 03/10/10 - DAMN SLACK.
went to the AJ's for raya, went home (i drove from amk to yishun! :D:D:D), and didnt do anything.


TODAYYY.
breakfast picnic with syg :)
we bought long john's breakfast and sat by bishan park (feeling feeling 11th jan. *wink wink*)


the week's been pretty sour for us at some point, but i'm really glad all's good now. ;D
i love you. <3
sigh back to camp. ):

Blogged @ 9:00:00 PM




i feel like crying. :(

Blogged @ 11:18:00 PM




Assalamualaikum.
Peace be upon you.

doesn't it feel good to greet your Muslim counterparts with a salam?
(dont go chey-madhiah-jgn-step-alim with me now ok?)

SO ANYHOWS, i've decided to update properly after talking to faiz, who is still so stubborn about setting up a facebook account. i was telling him even fahmi's set up an account. even my mom has an account!

so anyhows, just to keep track on stuff, for my benefit, and for all of you to know *rolls eyes*! haha.

the Ramadhan month was filled with iftars.
just to show you some, here are some 3 photos out of the iftars i had:

with MSS. :) we ate at Alkafe at bukit gombak!


with the besties, at Hajah Maimunah, and we celebrated dearest hayati's birthday! :)


with some of the zafyr'09 people, at macdonalds at technopark! erm, yeah in our baju kurungs cos we so semangat raya, yo!


then came the long awaited social night with the dearest sayang. :)
like i've said in one of the previous entries, it was such a splendid night. teehee.

HARI RAYA came finally. nah, actually it came a bit quickly. time really zoomed past by me like a bullet.


didn't go out much with the family cos dad had to work. but hasilnya tetap lumayan dehh.. the cash injection is quite magnificent i shall say. ;D

watched The Ugly Truth with boyfriend on Monday.

Went to school on Tuesday with Farah to discuss project, then had tuition, then met nas and fifa at fareast for dinner!

Wednesday! raya outing with the NUS people. so damn happening! 3 cars, 19? 21 people? :D
love love loved that day!












so that's about all that's been happening. no, actually there's a lot more. my back's aching. NEED MASSAGE. bye!

Blogged @ 10:51:00 PM





wahh all the highlights are like, hari raya photo albums. :D


sakit peruuuuuutttttt :'(

Blogged @ 12:22:00 PM




i am PMSing so bad. the worst PMS ever. EVER. i just want to curl up and cry. :( but no, i can't. and tomorrow is another hectic day. hope i'll feel better. :'( sometimes i wished things didnt happen. :'(

Blogged @ 12:03:00 AM